Red Flags In Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez's Relationship We Just Can't Ignore
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are considered one of Hollywood's hottest celeb couples, and the pair's whirlwind romance — lovingly referred to as "Bennifer" by fans — was the talk of the town back in the early 2000s before their official split in 2004. Almost two decades later, the two stars made headlines once again by rekindling the romance in 2021. The "Gone Girl" actor proposed a year later — with one of the most expensive celebrity engagement rings in the world, no less — followed by a private Las Vegas wedding ceremony in 2022. However, the relationship whiplash continues, as people take a closer look at the couple's rocky dynamic.
The pair were first engaged back in 2002, but the A-list couple called off the wedding in 2003 and officially broke up a year later, citing "excessive media attention" (via US Weekly). Following their 2004 separation, J.Lo and Affleck went on to start their own families with Marc Anthony and Jennifer Garner, respectively. When asked to comment about how they've approached their second chance at love, the "Maid in Manhattan" actor told People in 2022, "I think we are strong enough now to know what's real and what's not, whereas when we were younger maybe some of those outside voices were a little bit tougher for us to reconcile and survive." That said, they may not have left their tumultuous history in the past, as the seasoned couple currently faces several relationship red flags that may place their marriage and family dynamics at risk.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have different values
Conflicting values and a lack of mutual understanding are common reasons why most relationships fail. These can act as serious red flags in any relationship but even more so in a situation involving two high-profile celebrities. In this case, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have demonstrated stark differences in the way they approach their careers. Life in the limelight demands a lack of true privacy which inevitably takes its toll. However, the "Love Don't Cost a Thing" singer has proven this is not always the case, as she has always embraced her celebrity status and thrived within the entertainment industry. On the other hand, Affleck has a history of alcohol abuse, and in the past he has used alcohol as a crutch to handle the less exciting aspects of stardom. For this reason, the "Air" actor values his privacy, and this likely causes tension between the two stars.
For instance, in Lopez's documentary, "The Greatest Love Story Never Told," which spans the singer's career and personal life, Affleck admitted to struggling with his wife's need to publicize their relationship. "Getting back together, I said, 'Listen, one of the things I don't want is a relationship on social media.' Then I sort of realized it's not a fair thing to ask. It's sort of, like, you're going to marry a boat captain and you go, 'Well, I don't want the water.' We're trying to learn to compromise."
If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Love and work don't always mix
The celebrity lifestyle doesn't make it easy to settle down, especially for someone like Jennifer Lopez who always seems to have a project on the go. Someone as dedicated to their craft as J.Lo puts in a tremendous amount of time and effort to maintain her image and interact with fans. "Ben and J.Lo are normally together 24/7, but lately, they've been spending time apart," a source told In Touch in 2024. "Jen's need to make their relationship so public and perfect often leaves Ben feeling overwhelmed and henpecked. He just needs to be by himself sometimes, out of her shadow." Work is always a top priority for the "On the Floor" singer, so "they are on two completely different pages most of the time," another insider revealed to Us Weekly.
At the same time, it's important for an individual to support their partner's career. Therefore, it raised a few brows when Lopez attended the 2024 Met Gala solo, despite being one of the co-chairs. Ben Affleck's absence was a deliberate attempt to give him "some breathing room," a source shared with OK! "Of course she was a little hurt, but she knows he loves her. He just needed a break from the red carpets and publicity that she craves." However, according to Affleck's rep, the actor was unable to attend due to a scheduling conflict, as he was working on "The Accountant 2." It's impossible to say if he was truly busy or needed space.
J.Lo liked an Instagram post about red flags
On May 16, 2024, the "Let's Get Loud" singer sparked divorce rumors by liking a March 19 Instagram post shared by relationship coach Lenna Marsak. The post calls out major relationship red flags and explains how you can't build a healthy relationship if your partner doesn't respect your time or lacks integrity, emotional safety, and effective communication skills. Additionally, the post states that you cannot build a strong relationship with people who don't truly know themselves. Marsak shared a screenshot of the notification as evidence, per People, but later asked followers to "please be kind to Jennifer Lopez because she's a human being. I do not know if they're getting divorced. I hope not, but yeah, please."
While unfortunate that J.Lo's online activity is open to public scrutiny, it's interesting that she would like such a revealing post while struggling with relationship problems. During a 2023 Hollywood Reporter interview, Ben Affleck addressed Lopez's Instagram-savvy skills, saying, "My wife's a genius at that. I don't know if there's anybody who understands Instagram better than her." Based on this information, it's possible that Lopez deliberately stirred up gossip by liking the Instagram post. Although it's more likely that she hadn't planned on her Instagram activity going viral, this doesn't diminish the fact that she resonated with Marsak's professional relationship advice.
The couple has shared tense moments in public
Several uneasy incidents between the two stars hint at another relationship red flag, including a TikTok video posted by the Daily Mail dating from May of 2023, which shows Ben Affleck opening a car door for Jennifer Lopez. In the video, which has almost 800,000 likes, Affleck closes the door by dramatically swinging his arm. One user in the comment section wrote, "He's always miserable. It must be exhausting for her. And honestly, he doesn't seem worth it." However, others suspect the "Flash" star's irritation is due to paparazzi rather than his wife.
Another incident between the couple occurred during the 2023 Grammy Awards and circles back to the issue of conflicting views on privacy and media attention. The camera caught the two celebs sharing a tense moment while exchanging words. Body language expert Judi James told the Mirror that J.Lo's corrective chest-pat gesture, controlled movement, and strained expression signal a non-verbal red flag. However, the televised interaction wasn't as concerning as fans made it out to be, according to Affleck. "I saw [Grammy host Trevor Noah approach] and I was like, 'Oh, God.' They were framing us in this shot, but I didn't know they were rolling," the "Argo" actor shared with the Hollywood Reporter. "I leaned into her and I was like, 'As soon they start rolling, I'm going to slide away from you and leave you sitting next to Trevor.' She goes, 'You better f*****g not leave.' That's a husband-and-wife thing."
Bennifer rushed into marriage
At one point or another, you may have asked yourself whether it's a good idea to get back with your ex. Perhaps, you've wondered if your previous relationship qualified as a rare "right person, wrong time" exception. In this case, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez did decide to reunite, but that doesn't mean it was the right move, as they fell back into their relationship quite quickly and tied the knot not too long after. "[Lopez] has been ready to get married since the night that Ben proposed," a source told PageSix in 2022. "She wanted to lock this down and remove any chance for cold feet ASAP!" The same source explained that the wedding was "very, very minimally planned in advance and was largely spur-of-the-moment."
As such, they may have rushed into this important milestone without much care or forethought. This would not have allowed the time and space to hash out old issues and habits, especially considering the timeline of their reunion and subsequent Las Vegas marriage. What's more, with "all the social media posts and constant PDA, it's already over the top," an insider spilled to OK! "Now using her marriage and private moments to promote her album is serving her relationship up on a platter for the public to devour again. Everyone's predicting it will blow up in her face." The source also believes that J.Lo is too swept up to catch the relationship's red flags.